Jokes

Anyone have any unique jokes???
WELL THEN POST EM' HERE

I will rate them 1-10 on how hard I laughed.....hopefully they will make me laugh

Post the jokes as followed:
[type the joke]
then do 3 [enters]


[answer to the joke]

Here is a riddle.
If Pro is the opposite of con. ( so pro=good and con=bad )
what is the opposite of Pro-gress?





Congress.
( progress is good and congress is bad. )

Nice Shinny I would say a 7/10......political jokes...I love 'em

why do seagulls don't live by the bay and live by the sea?




because if they live by the sea, they are seagulls.
if they live by the bay, they would be bay-gulls (bagels)

I guess here is my joke (a very corny one)

What does a pirate charge for a piercing



A Buccaneer! (Buck-An-Ear)

shinny777 wrote:

why do seagulls don't live by the bay and live by the sea?




because if they live by the sea, they are seagulls.
if they live by the bay, they would be bay-gulls (bagels)

I heard that before...so not very original so......4/10

since you can't rate your own joke... i say... ummm... Achoo!... 7/10

shinny777 wrote:

since you can't rate your own joke... i say... ummm... Achoo!... 7/10

Hehe...ok

peanut butta wrote:

I heard that before...so not very original so......4/10

darn... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

shinny777 wrote:

darn... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

lol

here is a math question.
what is 100 + 10%?
then with that, subtract 10%.
what do you have?






99. not 100

not a joke...just a smart math questions
2/10

... i thought i post it because it isn't 100 again... weird huh?

I hace a riddle!

I have 5 coins, but the total of my five coins is $0.04. What coins do I have?






I have:
4 pennies
1 Chuck E. Cheese token

lol...good one max....never heard it before......chucky cheese's
I say 8/10

What does this mean?

Cover Cover Cover Cover











Duck for cover!
(DUCK, FOUR COVERS)

cool. 8/10

Why couldn't the 12-year-old get into the pirate movie?


It was rated "R"(ahhhr)

yeh ive heard that bret

I have another riddle!

If 2:00 PM is 1:00 AM, and 9:00 PM is 4:30 AM, and 6:00 PM is 3:00 AM
What is 3:00 AM








1:30 PM

no idea...

Max Xtreme X2 wrote:

I have another riddle!

If 2:00 PM is 1:00 AM, and 9:00 PM is 4:30 AM, and 6:00 PM is 3:00 AM
What is 3:00 AM








1:30 PM

i dont get it...sorry

peanut butta wrote:

Max Xtreme X2 wrote:

I have another riddle!

If 2:00 PM is 1:00 AM, and 9:00 PM is 4:30 AM, and 6:00 PM is 3:00 AM
What is 3:00 AM








1:30 PM

i dont get it...sorry

Okay... what is half of 2... 1 or 1:00
What is half of 9? 4.5 or 4:30
What is half of 3? 1.5 or 1:30
Get it now?

ah much better....thanks

ah.

anymore jokes??

A kid bangs his head on a steel wall and he shouts, "DAMN!"
His friend comes up to him and says, "What's wrong?"
The kid shouts, "DAMN!"
His friend says, "WHAT?"
The kid shouts, "DAMN"
His friend shouts out, "WHAT!?"
The kid shouts out, "DAMN!"

What did the kid bang his head on?

Max Xtreme X2 wrote:

A kid bangs his head on a steel wall and he shouts, "DAMN!"
His friend comes up to him and says, "What's wrong?"
The kid shouts, "DAMN!"
His friend says, "WHAT?"
The kid shouts, "DAMN"
His friend shouts out, "WHAT!?"
The kid shouts out, "DAMN!"

What did the kid bang his head on?

I'm guessing a dam

peanut butta wrote:

Max Xtreme X2 wrote:

A kid bangs his head on a steel wall and he shouts, "DAMN!"
His friend comes up to him and says, "What's wrong?"
The kid shouts, "DAMN!"
His friend says, "WHAT?"
The kid shouts, "DAMN"
His friend shouts out, "WHAT!?"
The kid shouts out, "DAMN!"

What did the kid bang his head on?

I'm guessing a dam

Nope! He hit his head on a steel wall, pay more ATTENTION!

ha-ha.

you have 7 cookies, you take 5
how many do you have?

One kid comes to a man dressed as a genie.
You may have two wishes he said.
the man thinks and looks at his gas meter for his car, in is country, gas was 9 dollars a gallon
so the man said i want gas for this car.
the genie says to get out of the car, stick this magic lever in the gas tank, and get back in.
when the man followed directions, he saw that his car gas was full.
his second wish was to fly.
Will it work? yes or no?

A man has a 1$ 5$ and a 10$ bill. he also has a 10 dollars off coupon.
he goes to a store and buys a tv and uses the coupon.
his receipt says total was $501.
he gave the man one bill.
how did he pay?

there once was the smartest guy in the world
his name was shinny777
he gave three riddels.
and everybody died
why did everyone die?

last one:
why are we doing this?

shinny777 wrote:

you have 7 cookies, you take 5
how many do you have?

One kid comes to a man dressed as a genie.
You may have two wishes he said.
the man thinks and looks at his gas meter for his car, in is country, gas was 9 dollars a gallon
so the man said i want gas for this car.
the genie says to get out of the car, stick this magic lever in the gas tank, and get back in.
when the man followed directions, he saw that his car gas was full.
his second wish was to fly.
Will it work? yes or no?

A man has a 1$ 5$ and a 10$ bill. he also has a 10 dollars off coupon.
he goes to a store and buys a tv and uses the coupon.
his receipt says total was $501.
he gave the man one bill.
how did he pay?

there once was the smartest guy in the world
his name was shinny777
he gave three riddels.
and everybody died
why did everyone die?

last one:
why are we doing this?

1: 7 cookies

2: Yes

3: With his $10

4: Out of boredom

5: Entertaining ourselves

Max Xtreme X2 wrote:

1: 7 cookies

2: Yes

3: With his $10

4: Out of boredom

5: Entertaining

number one is right
number 4 and 5 are opinion so again right.
think again about number 2 and 3

btw those 5 jokes together i give you a 6/10 for all of them combined...the opinion ones got a 2/10........so it lowered it

Peanut butta! you are correct!!!!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

THANKS!!!!